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An Irish missionary once described how character is formed:
“Consider the walnut: If you compare a walnut with some of the beautiful and exciting things which grow on our planet, it does not seem to be a marvelous creation. It is common, rough, not particularly attractive and certainly not valuable in any monetary sense. Besides, it is small. Its growth is limited by the hard shell which surrounds it. The shell from which it never escapes during its lifetime.
“Of course, that’s the wrong way to judge a walnut. Break one open and look inside. See how the walnut has grown to fill every nook and cranny available? It had no say in the size or shape of that shell but, given those limitations, it achieved its full potential of growth.”
How lucky we will be if, like the walnut, we find ways to blossom and bloom in every crevice of the life that is given us.
Character is not an inheritance; each person must build it for themself. Character comprises many positive traits, as well as moral principles such as caring, cooperation, diligence, fairness, honesty, loyalty, patience, positivity, responsibility, reliability and unselfishness, to name a few.
It is how you conduct yourself as a person, demonstrating empathy and compassion, being accountable, giving credit where it is due, forgiving others, apologizing when you are wrong and just being helpful.
Let’s look at just a few others:
Dependability. You are there to support others and keep your promises. People can trust you to listen attentively and make rational decisions, while taking responsibility for your actions.
Kindness. Kind words and kind actions start with kind thoughts. We might be tempted to take a dramatically different approach in a hyper-competitive world. But that tactic doesn’t produce any winners. Funny thing about kindness: The more it’s used the more you have of it.
Respectfulness. I learned long ago to be respectful or be regretful. There are four very important words in life – love, honesty, truth and respect. Without these in your life you have nothing.
Courage. It’s easy to be ordinary. Courage is what sets you apart from the crowd. Courage is one of the major human virtues. Courage is bravery, valor, standing up to danger, guts and nerve all rolled into one. I’m not a soldier, a policeman, a doctor or a relief worker. I’m a businessman. So what does courage have to do with running a business?
Plenty. Most folks’ daily lives are not filled with such dramatic challenges. We all face situations that require us to reach deep down within ourselves to do what is right, brave, and occasionally difficult. Courage can involve making decisions that are unpopular or time-consuming or even expensive.
Integrity. Doing the right thing is never the wrong thing to do. We have an epidemic of blaming others for mistakes, or worse, attempting a cover-up, rather than taking responsibility and swallowing a few bitter pills. We need to teach kids that their actions have consequences, and then apply those consequences. And we need to be prepared to forgive those who are truly sorry for their behavior, and not just because they got caught.
As I have said many times before: If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don’t have integrity, nothing else matters.
Legendary college basketball coach John Wooden said: “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”
I like to say that reputation is precious. Character is priceless. Reputation is for time; character is for eternity.
The Lakota tribe of Native Americans believed there was a spirit of creation, an awesome force called “Wakan Tanka,” the Great Spirit. The Lakota have a story they call “The Seventh Direction,” and it goes like this:
After Wakan Tanka arranged the other six directions – East, South, West, North, Above (the sky) and Below (the earth), one direction was still left to be placed – the Seventh Direction. This was the most powerful, containing the greatest wisdom and strength, so Wakan Tanka wished to place it somewhere it could not easily be found. So the Seventh Direction was hidden in the last place humans usually think to look – in each person’s heart.
Mackay’s Moral: Good character is like good soup – it is usually homemade.
Reprinted with permission from nationally syndicated columnist Harvey Mackay, author of the New York Times #1 bestseller “Swim With The Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive,” “We Got Fired!…And It’s the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Us,” and “The Mackay MBA of Selling in the Real World.