Talk about a loaded question. Our brains have been bombarded with mixed messages on this since birth. Sadly, we are rarely conscious of this and can easily lead our lives thinking we are getting our just rewards. We risk playing small. We risk not mining our gold.
Here’s what I implore you to know, think, and do:
1. You are born worthy.
When you’re an infant, you are loved unconditionally. You don’t have to be, do, or have anything special. Then you ‘learn’ you’re only worthy under certain external circumstances because you start to experience your own imperfections and conditional love from the people around you. You make mistakes and at times disappoint your parents, who have their own flaws and worthiness issues. Then you absorb the world of marketing that reminds you daily about all the things in your life you don’t have that would make your life perfect. You can’t help but wonder if you deserve great outcomes.
It's pretty easy not to feel like a world champion if you let even some of this linger in your head!
2. You are enough (already)
When you’re born, you don’t question your worthiness for whatever you want in life. You can generate love and happiness on your own (so long as you’re fed and dry)! You can never lose these qualities or find them out there. It is doubt that builds gradually because you learn that you are not a perfect machine who is the best at everything and can always please everyone else when everyone else has their own shortcomings and problems. The ego shows up demanding attention, and the ego is the opposite of your Unconditioned Self, which comes from love.
You don’t have to prove anything to anyone to be worthy. Innately you are already enough as a human being. Sit with this for a while. “I am enough.” You are born enough.
3. Adopt the mindset some high achievers have about worthiness
You need a mindset that affirms that you are good enough to reach greater heights and silence any voice that tries to talk you out of it. I’ve learned these from people I’ve coached or met along the way:
Worthiness Key 1: Tell yourself this: “I’ve worked hard to get where I am today, and it’s okay for me to experience ever-greater levels of success.”
Worthiness Key 2: Tell yourself this: “If not me, then who?”
Someone will do what you want; it might as well be you. A complimentary mindset to this is: “I can bring a lot of value to this person. I can be a really useful resource.”
Worthiness Key 3: Filter the doubt out of your mind as fast as you can
Should you doubt your worthiness in pursuing a big goal, flip the script and instead focus on this question: “Are my goals worthy of me?”
4. Find deeper motivation to get you DOING MORE and doubting less
Whether your drive comes from past pain, a cause, being clear about what true success is for you, or by an exciting future vision, successful people do more.
You need the fuel to doubt less, do more, and help you persevere, which is probably the most understated critical ingredient. Taking action to move your life in a more positive direction will also boost your self-respect – and worthiness.
5. Make love your purpose and let God drive
When you are influenced by love instead of social norms, too many business goals, or ‘shoulds’, it centers you beautifully. When love is your purpose in life, you can let love inspire your actions and desire to help others; love can inspire you to provide a better life for your family – and it will be much better received than any other agenda you have!
How’s trying to control everything in your life working out for you?! I gave it a good five decades and then my body (and my mind) started giving out on me in protest. I was trying too hard and trying to do it all on my own. Finally, I pulled my head out of the sand, paid more attention to the expanding universe, and wondered if there were good reasons the vast majority of homo sapiens before me these past 10,000 years were onto something by sensing there was a higher power out there who could have a useful say. Letting go of trying to control everything and giving some of it up to God (with or without the religion), I started to feel better and more worthy because my center – my heart – comes from the same source as yours. This centering source of love is full of worthiness.
Whether it’s love or God – and my definition of God is love – when your life has a purpose greater than you, you find yourself rising to the occasion and filling the bigger shoes.
6. Understand your brain is a garden that needs tending
Worthiness issues are mostly between the ears. It helps to understand how your brain does and doesn't serve you at times so you can ‘weed’ it and plant more empowered ways of thinking. You want to know a bit about how your subconscious mind determines 95% of your actions and how to influence it differently. This way you can start to feel differently about yourself – and more worthy.
7. Change your ‘identity’ and focus on power habits
The new identity question is: What type of person do I need to be to live a more fulfilled life right now?
Power habits are your most impactful habits that prove to your brain that you are becoming more of that person. From consistent action in these areas, new possibilities emerge for you because you start to see yourself differently; you’re not who you thought you were. You are becoming who you were born to be. This can boost worthiness.
8. Avoid the landmines
There are many ways people mess up their lives that unwittingly reinforce a lack of worthiness and we’ve all done it: self-induced crises, worry, envy, comparison, people pleasing, and feelings of guilt (to name a few). Even Oprah Winfrey overate for years until she realized it was her ‘apology’ for having had so much professional success. Awareness of these mistakes can help you not make similar errors or at least do them much less.
9. Increasingly build your life on strong pillars to build your worthiness – and focus on doing your best
Build on these parts of your life and see your worthiness grow:
Pillar: 1: Elevate Your Self-Awareness
Pillar 2: Elevate Your Worthiness
Pillar 3: Elevate Your Health
Pillar 4: Elevate Your Gratitude
Pillar 5: Elevate Your Confidence
Pillar 6: Elevate Your Ability to Ask Specifically for What You Want
Pillar 7: Elevate Your Sufficiency Mindset
Pillar 8: Elevate Your Support Team (and notice what you do right)
Pillar 9: Elevate Your Persistence Muscles and Mental Toughness
And, lastly, do your best! You can never do more than that. When you acknowledge yourself for this consistently, you are kinder to yourself, and feel better, and that too keeps you on a stronger trajectory to what you want in life.
To your worthiness to be/do/have whatever you want in life!
Matt
Matt Anderson
Founder & President
Matt Anderson International
1177 Oak Ridge Drive, Glencoe, IL 60022, USA
Phone: +001 (312) 622-3121
matt-anderson.com
