Keep things in perspective. Remember that sometimes you are a jerk too!
You can’t change the way other people are; you can only change the way you respond to them. So why drive yourself crazy trying to fix a jerk that doesn’t want to be fixed or doesn’t know they need to be fixed? You aren’t going to be able to any way so save yourself the frustration!
Know that it’s rarely personal. Jerks don’t single you out to be a jerk to, it’s just who they are and has little to do with anyone else.
Forgive them. Most of them have had years of training at being a jerk and it’s hard for them to be anything else.
Be more understanding. Good people can have bad days.
Don’t give a jerk the power to ruin your day – they’re jerks, remember? Don’t reduce yourself to their level.
Be nice to them. Jerks hate that! Seriously, if you want to drive a jerk totally crazy, try being nice. Bonus: you might just shock them into better behavior.
Know that most people aren’t really jerks; they just act in jerky ways. Deep down, I think most people are good folks but work really hard covering it up.
If you have had it with them and are unwilling to put up their jerky ways, avoid the jerk as best you can. Divorce them, stop seeing them, stop calling them or going out with them. I’m amazed at people who willingly hang around jerks not realizing that it’s a choice.
If you are going to attack, attack the behavior, not the person.
This excerpt is from my New York Times bestseller, People Are Idiots And I Can Prove It. In paperback, it’s called The Idiot Factor. To order your hardback, autographed copy go to www.larrywinget.com.
Your job is to become absolutely excellent at influencing and motivating others to support and assist you in the achievement of your goals and the solving of your problems. All truly effective people have mastered the art of getting lots of other people to work with and for them in the accomplishment of their objectives. You can learn this skill set to achieve personal power and master the art of influencing others.
How Human Interaction Affects Your Ability to Influence People
The opposite of being influential is having little or no influence at all on the behaviors of other people. It is the difference between being powerful and being powerless. You can either persuade others to help you or be persuaded to help them. It is one or the other. Most people are not aware that every human interaction involves a complex process of persuasion and influence. And being unaware, they are usually the ones being persuaded to help others rather than the ones who are influencing people to help them.
All successful people with personal power are persuasion experts. They give a lot of thought to how they can get other people to help them. They plan and strategize before they act. They define their goals clearly and then they choose the people whose cooperation they will need to achieve those goals. They then think about what they will have to do in return to get the other people to help them. They achieve their goals of persuasion and influence indirectly.
The key to persuasion is motivation. Every human action is motivated by something. In order to learn how to persuade others, you must find out what motivates other people and then to provide that motivation. People have two major motivations: the desire for gain, and the fear of loss. The desire for gain motivates people to want more of the things they value in life. They want more money, more success, more health, more influence, more respect, more love and more happiness.
Human wants are limited only by individual imagination. No matter how much a person has, he or she still wants more and more. When you can show a person how he or she can get more of the things he or she wants by helping you achieve your goals, you can motivate them to act in your behalf and achieve greater personal power.
How to Persuade Others Through Leverage
You can learn how to persuade others by using leverage. Leverage means that you learn how to multiply yourself and get far more out of the hours you put in rather than doing everything yourself.
You leverage yourself through other people’s efforts by getting other people to work with you and for you in the accomplishment of your objectives. Sometimes you can ask them to help you voluntarily, although people won’t work for very long without some personal reward. At other times you can hire them to help you, thereby freeing you up to do higher value work.
The definition of management is “Getting things done through others.” To be a manager you must improve your personal power and know how to persuade and influence people to work in a common direction. This is why all excellent managers are also excellent low-pressure salespeople. They do not order people to do things, instead, they influence people to accept certain responsibilities, with specific deadlines, and agreed upon standards of performance. When a person has been persuaded that he has a vested interest in doing a job well, he accepts ownership of the job and the result. Once a person accepts ownership and responsibility, the manager can step aside confidently, knowing the job will be done on schedule.
Achieve Personal Power by Becoming an Expert
You can learn how to persuade others and can develop your personal power by always remembering that there are only two ways to get the things you want in life, you can do it all yourself, or you can get most of it done by others. Your ability to communicate, persuade, negotiate, influence, delegate and interact effectively with other people will enable you to develop leverage using other people’s efforts, other people’s knowledge and other people’s money. The development of your personal power will enable you to become one of the most powerful and influential people in your organization. By learning how to persuade and influence people, it will open up doors for you in every area of your life.
I hope you enjoyed this post on how to achieve personal power by learning how to persuade and influence people. Do you think that the ability to influence people is useful in your line of work? Please comment with your answer below!
Click here http://www.briantracy.com/noexcuse for a FREE chapter of my book No Excuses! The Power of Self-Discipline.
When you feed your mind with positive ideas and thoughts, you develop a more positive and effective personality. People who have a positive personality also enjoy greater confidence and self-esteem.
1. Decide to change. Most people say they want to change without making the real decision to change. A true decision is based in commitment. You have given your word to yourself. It’s a decision that says regardless of what you run up against, you are going to change. It’s a deal you have struck with yourself and there is no going back!
2. Know WHY you want to change. Too many people get caught up in HOW they are going to change. That comes later. There are lots of ways to change. How is the easy part. Why is much tougher. Let’s say you have decided to lose weight. Good for you. Why? To be healthier? To live longer? All great answers. Go deeper. Why do you want to be healthier? Why is it important to live longer? I did this exercise with a woman who after asking WHY several times, it came out that she just wanted to look good in a swimsuit this summer so she wouldn’t be embarrassed. Embarrassment was the answer. This is just an example, but you get it. Dig deep for the WHY you want to change.
3. Be willing to do whatever it takes to change. It’s a rule: Life doesn’t always ask you to DO whatever it takes, but you had better be WILLING to do whatever it takes. If you aren’t willing, save yourself the time and don’t even start the process as you will end up quitting soon anyway.
4. Do whatever it takes to change. Yeah, this is the work part. No change is going to happen without work and action. There’s no way around it so roll up your sleeves, get off your butt and do the work.
5. When you fail, dust yourself off and start again. You will fail. Success is about moving past failure. Don’t cry, don’t whine, don’t get stuck. Just play through the pain and keep going no matter what. No excuses are acceptable.
Short list but big work. Get started right now on the changes you want to create in your life. By the way, when you get to where you want to be, celebrate. That’s the pay off. Celebrate your victory, set a new target and get back to work.
This is based on a section from my New York Times bestseller, People Are Idiots And I Can Prove It (The Idiot Factor in paperback). To get your autographed copy, go to www.larrywinget.com.
You are a good parent if:
You are teaching your kid about money: how to earn it, save it, invest it and spend it wisely.
You read to your kid or with your kid and set a good example for them when it comes to being seen reading a book.
Your kid sometimes hates you for not letting them do all the things they want to do. That is proof you are doing something right!
You allow your child to fail and feel the pain and consequences of their decisions.
You don’t allow electronics at the dinner table; both theirs AND yours.
You feed your kid healthy meals and make sure they get enough exercise to be fit. And you set a good example by eating healthy and exercising yourself.
You know your kids close friends and know their parents. Remember; people become like those they associate with.
You limit the amount of time they spend in front of the television, playing video games, and playing on the computer.
You hug your kids even after they think they are too old for it.
You make it clear that your love is unconditional but your approval is based on their behavior.
You listen to them, their ideas, thoughts and opinions and then you do the right thing based on what is best for them whether they like it or not. Remember: Parenting is not a democracy, it is an absolute monarchy and you are in charge. Decisions regarding their welfare and what is right and wrong for them are not up for a vote.
You communicate what you expect, show them how to deliver it and then impose consequences when you don’t get it and a reward when you do.
Is this all it takes to be a good parent? No, these are not the only signs you are a good parent. It takes a lot more than this to be a good parent. This is a short list.
If you don’t do all of these, does that make you a bad parent? Only you can answer that one. Look at the results, both short term and long term and decide if you need to make some corrections in your parenting approach.
The goal of any parent should be independence. You should want your child to become completely independent of you and a fully functioning, responsible, productive adult. This list is a good checklist to know if you are on the right track; but there are no guarantees. Sometimes you can do everything right and it still goes wrong. Doing these things will only stack the deck in your favor.
I know some of you will want to argue some of these points and want me to discuss them and defend them and many of you will try to prove me wrong and litter the comments section with “Yeah buts”. Don’t bother. These points are not up for argument. I’ve been there, done it, and can prove every single one of these points in my own life, with my own kids and with tons of affirmations from other parents. If you don’t agree with these, that is fine with me, you have every right to be wrong. I say many things that can be argued with, but not this stuff.
For more of my parenting advice, so you raise a responsible, productive adult, read my best-selling book “Your Kids Are Your Own Fault.” You can get a signed copy on my website at www.larrywinget.com
Click here http://www.briantracy.com/NoExcuse for my FREE EBOOK: “No Excuses! The Power of Self-Discipline”
Watch this video to learn about the 5 common myths about setting goals. Learn why it’s important to set a goal and how to set the rights goals for yourself.
First; a rant. I just made a statement. It is a statement that applies to nearly every person on the planet, so don’t start with me about how some people don’t have a choice. Don’t tell me about the people who are born with handicaps or who are born into poverty. Don’t tell me about something specific you are facing and that you have no choice in the matter. I get it. And by the way, people who are born into poverty and with handicaps often choose their way to success, happiness and prosperity. So don’t give me any of your stupid “But Larry . . .” arguments. I am tired of people coming up with all of the exceptions to everything I post. Of course there are exceptions. Very few things come without an exception of some kind. I can’t write a blog or a facebook posting that deals with every individual’s personal issues. I can’t write a blog that applies to 99% of the people while catering to you, the 1%. I don’t care that you were a middle child born in North Dakota of parents named Lester and Josephine who made exactly $42,936 a year and had an older sister with red hair, a buck-toothed little brother with Tourette’s and a pet rabbit named Floppy and because of all of that, you don’t have a choice; you can’t be healthy or skinny or successful. Yet that seems to be what some of you expect. Seriously folks, you should read my mail. So get over it before you even start. (Whew! I feel better. Now on to making my point.)
Everything is a choice. Health is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Prosperity is a choice. Integrity, honesty, honor, work ethic . . . all choices. Put enough good choices together and you end up with a pretty good life. String enough bad choices together and you’re screwed.
Success is also a choice. Just like being fit, happy and financially secure are all choices. But none of these things are one single choice. Instead they are made up of millions of tiny choices. For instance; eating one 5,000 calorie meal won’t make you fat. But eat a few hundred calories more than you burn every day for a period of years and you end up a tubby. Buying one pair of shoes that you can’t afford won’t make you poor; it might leave you broke until payday, but it won’t make you poor. But spend just a couple of dollars more than you really have to spend every day on a pack of gum or a soda or the like and before you realize it, you’re deep in debt with no way out.
One evening of mindless television doesn’t hurt you but if you do it night after night, your future could be ruined. Being late to work one time probably won’t cost you your job, but do it too often and you will end up unemployed. Don’t say “thank you” once and the next time it becomes easier and soon you will be perceived as ungrateful. Let serving one customer slide through the cracks and tell yourself “Oh well, it’s only one.” and soon you won’t have enough customers to stay in business. In every situation, success at anything comes down to little bitty choices. Choices that are so seemingly insignificant that we cant believe they would have any long term devastating impact, but they do.
Everything ultimately matters. Every little choice you make or don’t make either moves you closer to your goals or farther away from your goals. No choice is ever neutral.
The choices you have made up until now determine the level of successful you are experiencing right now. That’s just how life works: you live the consequences of your choices.
What direction are your choices taking you?
We have become a society of spectators. It is easier to watch old reruns of Friends on television than it is to make the effort to be a friend in real life. It’s easier to watch people lose weight on The Biggest Loser than it is to put down the bowl of ice cream, get off your butt, do a little exercise and lose it yourself. It’s certainly easier to watch people paint a room or clean out their closets on television than it is to do any of these things yourself. In fact, whole networks are dedicated to just that kind of programming so you can watch rather than do. It’s even easier to watch a TV nanny correct some other bad parent’s out-of-control children than it is to discipline your own kids.
Most people settle for much less than they have to because they are just too lazy to work for what they really want. They do a half-assed job when they are on the job, and then put little effort into living their dreams when they go home. That’s the dark hole of mediocrity most people have slipped into.
Life, happiness, prosperity, and success all take effort. Good things are never going to come along, grab you by the scruff of the neck and pull you up off the couch to get you on the road to success. You have to do that all by yourself. You have to stop watching the world go by and begin to participate in the action that creates a successful life. Is it work? Of course it is. Is it going to be hard? Yep. In fact, if it feels easy, then you are going in the wrong direction. The good life comes with work, sweat, tears and plenty of disappointment. But the good life is more than worth the effort. So stop watching the world go by and get involved.